When bad things happen, and for most, divorce is a bad thing, it can trigger a number of emotions. Depending on how you process what is happening, your happiness can return or, your emotions can get away with you and your emotional life can quickly get out of hand. If you don’t properly deal with the stress and negative emotions of divorce the consequences begin to slowly affect you in deeper ways.
You may develop trust issues that make it harder for you to develop a new love relationship. Your self-confidence can take a nose-dive and emotional stagnation can cause extreme self-sabotage.
If you follow the advice and steps listed below, not only can you survive your divorce you can also thrive afterward.
As I’ve said, divorce brings with it many negative emotions. Some of these emotions can cause stress that will interfere with your ability to function in your everyday life before, during and after your divorce. The biggest favor you can do yourself is to learn how to relax, let go of the stress and just let the “chips fall.” Focus more on keeping yourself active, healthy and moving forward instead of staying stuck in a negative space.
All it takes is being willing to be good to yourself. Recognizing and dealing with stress is an important aspect of living a healthy productive life. Below are some suggestions for ways of handling your stress during the difficult process of divorce.
Make sure you pay attention to your emotional needs.
Find a support group to participate in, a therapist to talk with. A little talk therapy can go a long way when you are feeling overwhelmed emotionally.
It’s important for you to take responsibility for your own emotional well-being at this time of adversity and make sure that you nurture yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Keep yourself physically fit.
Stay as active as possible by keeping a regular exercise routine. Nothing helps our emotions bounce back better than physical activity. It will help in relieving tense, anger and anxiety. Regular exercise is a great way to improve emotional well-being and elevate your mood, also.
Do things that will nurtue you emotionally and phsycially.
Read a good book, get plenty of rest, take a hot bath, develop a new hobby, eat healthy and nutritious foods, and surround yourself with positive people. Put effort into living a lifestyle that will promote feelings of good self-worth and esteem during this time of adversity.
Let go of problems that are beyond your control.
If you are faced with an uncomfortable or painful situation learn to let it go, take some time to figure out what is best for you and then come back to it. Stay focused on what you have control over and let go of the rest.
Refuse to engage in conflict with your ex spouse. If the two of you can’t be around each other without arguing, there is no shame in walking away.
Give yourself permission to feel.
Emotions are normal, whether they are negative or positive emotions. What we do with the emotions we are feeling plays a big role in the quality of life we experience. Avoid destructive activities such as drinking or drugs when trying to deal with your feelings.
Don’t allow your feelings to cause you to seek revenge, play the victim or become abusive toward your spouse. If you are hurt or angry, it is best to find someone safe to vent to and get those feelings out.
Change any expectations you have.
No one has any control over the feelings and actions of another person. We might think that during our marriage we had some control but we did not. Now that there is a divorce in process we have even less control than before.
Let go of trying to control any aspect of what your spouse may feel or what actions they will take. Let go of what you feel the outcome should be and learn to accept whatever might happen.
Don’t make any hasty decisions.
When you are living through a highly stressful situation any decisions or changes to your life should not be made until you have thought of all the consequences.
Take time to think things through and thoroughly weigh all your options. When making decisions use logical thinking instead of emotional thinking to guide your decision making. Give yourself time and be patient with the decision-making process.
Be sure to make time for fun.
Remember to laugh and play. Schedule activities that bring you pleasure and participate in them regularly. Maintain a close circle of friends and socialize often.
Do not isolate yourself from others. If getting out and enjoying life means forcing yourself do to so, then so be it. You will find that once you are out and engaging in fun activities you’ll not regret making yourself participate.
Let go and move on.
Take the time needed to heal from the divorce and those feelings of loss. Try to look inward and own your responsibility in the problems that led to divorce. Forgive yourself and your spouse and don’t allow the issues from this marriage to follow you into new relationships.
Taking time to identify what caused the divorce, to change what you need to change about the way you related to your ex will only help you move on after the divorce in a more productive manner.